I dream of Souffles: Introducing Wiggins

It's two and half weeks post-op and I've been home nearly five days in a row now. That's my longest stretch of being home since the surgery. I think it's a good sign. I feel that I'm on the real path of recovery now. It feels really good. My days at home are balanced with TLC and good rehab. Having a mom as a psych occupational therapist has ingrained in me an unconscious ability to self-assess my abilities and limitations at all times, both cognitively and physically. So I balance my days with varying levels of cognitive activity: jigsaw puzzles, crossword puzzles, crafts, movies; as well as physical activity: walking down the block, standing, napping, showering. Since I am basically walking around with a broken bone in my chest (they crack the sternum in half as part of the sternotomy and wire it back together) I am on sternal precautions for six weeks. This puts a major damper on my physical and social life. No driving, no swimming, no twisting, no lifting, nothing! I'm not supposed to even open the refrigerator door right now! You can imagine how that impacts my late night hankerings. They become not so secret. But the silver lining on this temporary dependency means I am becoming much closer to those who help to take care of me. It's interesting—I think I fought so hard for so long to assert my independence that I was a physically capable and responsible adult since my last surgery. Moving abroad and living in London for three years was the ultimate embodiment of that assertion. To now be so dependent on others, at age 31, could be demoralizing and frustrating. But it's not. These past few days I have felt nothing but gratitude and humility at the endless, selfless care displayed by my parents and Ryan. To be served and cared for by another is the ultimate act of love; it is the ultimate blessing in the world. I am profoundly blessed.

The displays of support and encouragement from friends and family that have been pouring in this week are an extension of this as well. The cards, flowers, balloons, edible arrangements, social media messages, food, and gifts have all enveloped me in a blanket of love. Thank you! Perhaps the BIGGEST embodiment of this has been the arrival of a giant teddy bear in the mail. When I say giant, I mean the biggest teddy bear you have ever seen...life size...my size...60 inches tall! This giant teddy bear has brought much entertainment and laughter to me and really everyone this week! He has unexpectedly become an important part of my recovery. So without further ado, I would like to introduce....WIGGINS! (named in honor of one of my doctors at the hospital)