Home: third time a charm!

Phew!  This last week was an unexpected rough one.  But everyone made it; we got through it!  And I am home again.  For the third time.  Rather than inundate you with too many details (they're not the fun kind) I'll sum up what happened this week and end with a list a things I learned from this week, cause let's face it, I've kind of mastered being a heart patient at USC Keck at this point. 

Exhaustion all around during 1st readmit

I had been discharged home Saturday August 29 as you may remember and was recovering remarkably well at home for three days when I started having some spikey fevers and mildly elevated heart rate (110s, normal for me is 60-80).  We called the doctor and they wanted me to come in and get checked out, so we did and they decided to readmit me for tests to make sure I wasn't having an infection.  After every test in the book (checking for blood clots, bacterial infections, lung issues) it was decided I had pericarditis (inflammation of the lining around the heart), something apparently not uncommon for women in their early 30's to have after open-heart surgery (I didn't know there was a club).  I came home last Friday, September 4 in the afternoon and was so relieved to be home.  The readmit was demoralizing and my spirits were low.  I had a fabulous dinner, delivered by Rolando, watched 'the Goonies' with my mom and went to sleep.

Slowly coming out of afib on 2nd readmit

Saturday morning I woke up as if from a super intense dream: sweating like crazy, heart rate running fast and something new: an irregular beat.  I tried to calm my body but to no avail.  After a call to the doctor, we immediately went back to the hospital and that's when things got crazy.  My heart rate was 188, irregular and I was throwing up to boot.  I was in atrial fibrillation.  I had a swarm of people working on me, all extremely quick, calm, and immensely reassuring.  It was some of the best bedside care I've had up to this point; the ETC (special emergency) crew was a rock star team.  They even put Ryan to work silencing all the alarms going off; it was a good team effort.  After about 3 hours my heart rate started to go down, slowly.  Once it was in the 140's they sent me up to the ICU for round-the-clock monitoring to get it back down.  The care continued to be incredible: everyone in the ICU treated me like family, we shared lots of laughter, and the surgical team, especially Dr. Wiggins, hovered attentively.  I felt well taken care of.  By Sunday morning my HR was still in the 120's and irregular so we decided on a little bit of cardio version (electric shock) to get my heart straight again.  And it did the trick, like magic!  My heart immediately went back into sinus rhythm and HR was in the 80's.  Yes!  I felt like a new person.  Pericarditis was determined to be the culprit of the a-fib, so with a little more aggressive treatment of the inflammation in conjunction with some precautionary treatment for a-fib, I was closely monitored for a day and then released.  I came home yesterday, Monday, September 7.

Today I am exactly two weeks post-op and while it hasn't been the easiest or expected path to here, I am feeling much recovered and am grateful to be home.  Here are a few things I've taken from this past week:

-I learned that little things help keep me grounded, sane, and feeling like a person: having my own toothbrush, favorite fuzzy pair of socks, my favorite lip balm, washing my face everyday, etc.
-I learned the therapeutic value of music: I usually don't have trouble sleeping, but I couldn't have slept without my peaceful tunes from Brandi Carlile, Frank Sinatra, Billie Holiday, and Middle Brother. 
-I learned that doing nothing is sometimes the best thing to do: I prefer being busy and productive usually, but I finally discovered how good it feels to sit, do nothing and be at peace with that.  Phew, that was a long time coming!
-I learned the importance of not being stoic all time: I really had to listen to my body on Saturday with the racing heart rate telling me to go back to the hospital, again, even though I really just wanted to power through it, stay home and finish my perfectly soft boiled egg for breakfast.  It was such a good egg.
-I learned the value of cursing: sometimes the f-bomb is just the release you need, and it sure helped me release some emotion on Saturday.  And then I felt so good after that! 
-I learned that saying "I'm scared" doesn't make me less brave, and actually, made me feel less scared once I said it.
-I learned that In 'N Out really does cure everything: I was having an emotionally low night last Wednesday and my dad and Jo's delivery of a burger with grilled onions, fries and a milkshake made me feel whole again. 
-I learned the importance of developing a personal rapport with the hospital staff.  I became friends with nearly every single person that helped me: from the surgeons to the phlebotomists, from the nurses to the x-ray techs.  Every readmit was consequently like a homecoming full of smiles, laughter, and jokes that I just couldn't stay away from them.  My positivity and my gratitude created a positive feedback system that yielded a wholly positive, pleasant and healing environment. 
-I learned the truth of being blessed with a loving, supportive family: that there are no limits to the sacrifice and love my family is capable of in supporting me.  And that the ultimate blessing is having a partner willing and capable of matching my strength in facing the ugly and scary, hand in hand together.  I love you, Ryan.  We did good.